teardrops on my guitar.

faith like a rock

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 13:31:58 GMT

you know, i read about all these christianity vs atheist comments and i feel i should start thinking abt real questions that have bypassed me this far.

ive got the knowledge to know what kind of God i am worshipping, as well as the other must-do rules and laws the follow our relationship with God. and i start to think to myself, how do i know these are real. so far, i've only heard abt these real things. occasionally i do experience this love and grace that my God gives, but how much of these is actually "real"? with this amount of knowledge i know, if i slip into a lack of faith, then how will i know that it is an absence of God and not of guilt that i am not doing what i am supposed to do, as told by my seniors and authority (think culture, community, expectations)?

the psychology that i study tells me of our human perceptions are just intepretations of action potentials firing in our neurons. like how do we know that colour is colour? then comes the word: faith. so this faith i have, its a matter of me sort of believing in something. this something that can change my world, that created this world that inspired the bible. assuming we take that all humans require this "need" to believe in something. so how do we know that this something is real. then it goes back full circle to the matter of perceptions and feelings.

so dearest Lord, my God, how will i know you are real? that you sent your Son to die on the cross? deep down, i want my faith to be the purest, surest, real-est faith that does not come from how the human mind tells itself to believe in. by knowledge, i know you are real because the bible says so, and the bible contains all the facts in the world, compiled together, crafted by only someone who knows the world by the back of his hands. the "amazability" of it. this i know and i believe. so does this make you real now? i hope it does. because i cannot think of how else to know you are real. :p

each persons personal experience... why is it not formal to share ones personal experiences in trying to convince the others view? esp if this view in turn, involves a personal relationship with God on the whole! i suppose there is really no other way to explain the reality of it all, if this "experience" is not real, made real by personal experiences. of course the ambiguity of human experience cannot really compare to "physical evidence" i guess. :p but come to think of it, this ambiguity of whether we believe or not, or faith, really stems from free will (of course the onset of action and conscious decision making happens after the human body actually prepares for action really makes one wonder whether God secretly predispose us to a certain plan.. ), the choice to choose and thus have a variety of thoughts and actions leading to our decision.

at this point in time, i feel i have ranted on and lost my train of thought.

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 16:54:56 GMT

http://www.facebook.com/notes/jansen-ko/letter-to-a-christian-girlfriend/331261178826

help me, help him, Lord.
in times like this, all the more i want to show you are who you are.
except, i am loss for words.

and it is situations like these that i hesitate.

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:44:33 GMT

netball:

to ask for more fighting spirit,

or to finally let go.

Dear Lord, u said choose, but i want you to lead me the way.
(although im choosing 70% let go.)

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:40:18 GMT

i wanna do fun stuff with u after midterms too. =)

somthing in between

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 13:38:40 GMT

we're still in nowhere land. :p although almost close.

just that.. sometimes

i feel inferior to somebody whose not there. lover versus 6 years of friendship indeed. where do i stand? how can i compare to good parent-in-law-relationship, ie. basically the family side of things. surely i pale in comparison, too shy for comfort..

sometimes i feel im seen as the other girl. the next one. the one that never would have been not for....

i wonder how to carry on, all these obstacles, just a part of it.. how to act normal when the past matters to me? i wonder if rae feels this sometimes, knowing there was a past. though not that sad for mine, but still overbearing, on me more than him. i feel that surely the parents will always remember her, and me? they have to start anew perhaps. but will they like this? like the sisters wedding. surely she would go, i mean, yea. duh. then me? the other one.. how do i fit in.

sometimes i just feel maybe this is it. the end. because all these things come together, its the end lor. dont bother continuing. i read somewhere in the bible that says wives must do their job to bring their husbands to faith. thru actions and stuff... wat im doing, or not doing, does not seem to have any effect. i dun see it. so.. dun know why i keep trying?

the books once said that im supposed to find hope in God. not in the r/s. ive yet to get there. but meanwhile, what do i do? ie. physically real world r/s wise. every time i try to give up, he comes back and makes me feel like i should give back.

two minds

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:38:14 GMT

24th Triennial Inter-Varsity Games, netball, once every 3 years, held in NUS, along with HKU, UTM (khairul hafiz's uni, not that he plays netball, but enough to make ely jealous), etc..

versus

2+ weeks in krabi, clear skies, nice beaches, deep-water soloing, natural rock climbing, 30 metres wall, chances of experiencing a tsunami.

looking around, and at this age, i seem like the only kid who has sports dilemmas. haha. tsk

tough times

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 14:15:19 GMT

How to Be Thankful in Tough Times

2009/01/02

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

1. Don’t worry about anything. Worrying doesn’t change anything. It’s stewing without doing. There’s no such thing as born worriers; worry is a learned response. You learned it from your parents. You learned it from your peers. You learned it from experience. That’s good news. The fact that worry is learned means it can also be unlearned. Jesus says, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT).

2. Pray about everything. Use the time you’ve spent worrying for praying. If you prayed as much as you worried, you’d have a whole lot less to worry about. Some people think God only cares about religious things, such as how many people I invite to church or my tithing. Is God interested in car payments? Yes. He’s interested in every detail of your life. That means you can take any problem you face to God.

3. Thank God in all things. Whenever you pray, you should always pray with thanksgiving. The healthiest human emotion is not love, but gratitude. It actually increases your immunities; it makes you more resistant to stress and less susceptible to illness. People who are grateful are happy. But people who are ungrateful are miserable because nothing makes them happy. They’re never satisfied; it’s never good enough. So if you cultivate the attitude of gratitude, of being thankful in everything, it reduces stress in your life.

4. Think about the right things. If you want to reduce the level of stress in your life, you must change the way you think. The way you think determines how you feel, and the way you feel determines how you act. So if you want to change your life, you need to change what you’re thinking about.

This involves a deliberate, conscious choice where you change the channels. You choose to think about the right things: focus on the positive and on God’s Word. Why? Because the root cause of stress is the way you choose to think.

When we no longer worry, when we pray about everything, when we give thanks, when we focus on the right things, the apostle Paul tells us the result is, “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NLT).

What a guarantee! He is guaranteeing peace of mind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so please help me to not worry abt which modules to take or whether i'll score well in them. :p thanks Lord. its been giving me a real headache and im afraid im making the wrong choices too..

hearts

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 03:35:56 GMT

in the year 2008, love is definitely much different. God put us through many trials and troubles. and we din really hold out well. but its ok, its all in the learning process. =) i just realised that in the time span of being in uni.. or like 5 months, i broke 3 hearts - turn downed 3 people. and it makes me feel damn guilty. :p im sorry. but whats worst was that i broke the single most heart that i never thought i would break, that led to me breaking my own heart. theres no logic in that. it just happens really.

theres this song that nat and arvin always sing in the car with the windows down. haha:

I just want you to know
that I’ve been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through,
and then there’s nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
that there’s a day you’ll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again,
just want you to know

so true indeed.

anyways, im okay now. AGAIN. just that i miss you. haha. but well.. its ok that i dont have you. coz i've got God. yea. kinda makes me smile each time i think about that. awesome. =)

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 12:16:33 GMT

you know its funny and weird. it seems like this christmas i see people, who are hopelessly in love and people who just dont want to respond. yea. sad christmas i suppose.

how come i know so many who are in love, yet how come its like the wrong one. yea.

you know, i guess edwins almost everything perfect. except for the height. and religion. and maybe age. yea. but i gotta let him pass eh? it din exactly occur to me to ever consider him initially... i kinda din wanna make the same mistake of getting to know another guy better. but sometimes.. i dun know why i do that coz i dun have you anymore.

happy birthday

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 16:02:46 GMT

hello you,

happy birthday. yay i managed to change the date so you see this msg on the 15th! so it shows that even though im in msia i can still wish you happy birthday. i din forgot it or anything this time. yea.

if i could, i'd personally pass you a present and a card. or maybe send u a bouquet of flowers right to your doorstep. but oh wells.. its the thought that counts.

finally 19 boy, you made it this far. yay. keep going.

love, jud.

love is a choice

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:34:45 GMT

2008/11/25

… That you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:20 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.

Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us; it’s not something we control. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love is some kind of a ditch. It’s like I’m walking along one day and bam! – I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.

But I have to tell you the truth – that’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice and it represents a commitment.

There’s no doubt about it, attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.

You must choose to love God; he won’t force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won’t force you to love him. Because he knows love can’t be forced.

And this same principle is true about your relationships: you can choose to love others, but God won’t force you to love anyone.

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 16:40:37 GMT

How to Deal with Conflict Quickly

2008/11/21

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

How do you deal with conflict quickly?

I’ll tell you, but you’re not going to like it. The solution to resolving conflict is confrontation.

That’s right; if you’re going to resolve conflict, you must confront.

You don’t have to confront in anger, though. In fact, you shouldn’t confront in anger. Lovingly go to the person and, speaking the truth in love, deal with the problem immediately.

In James (1:19), we’re taught three rules for confrontation: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

If you do the first two, the third one is automatic. If you’re quick to listen and you’re slow to speak, then you will be slow to anger.

What are you listening for?

You listen for the hurt in that person. Hurting people always hurt other people. When someone is being a jerk, more than likely, it’s because that person is hurting. When you understand their hurt, you have a better understanding of why they do what they do, and you’re a little more patient with them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and if i do understand, what will it take for them to forgive? am i bound to be marked by the wrongs always?

no no no no no

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 16:05:59 GMT

sometimes i wonder why i bother to come home at all.

knowing that im coming home to a messy room, space invaded, hair infested, dustbin uncleared kinda room. plus the main occupant is not inviting, not welcoming and unsisterly.

indeed. staying in hall may be lonely. but sometimes it beats having to suck it up and be silent when someone makes a negative comment abt you, no matter how true. coz there is nothing you can do to upset that biological authority set in place since the day u were born.

i wonder what happen to the sisterly ties and "shared-ness" and "i-forgive-yous". certainly not in this household of sister no.1 and sister no. 2. all we share is the rolling of eyes at each other and the tolerating. being younger means you have to hear music through the headphones, type in the dark in the living room while ur sister sleeps, and shutup and not talk back when ur sister speaks.

but sometimes, i wish she just knew how hurt i feel. or how much i try. how come shes not like other sisters? willing to forgive, to oversee things just because we're sisters. i know i did wrong things and jeopardise her career or smth. but like drama serials, i dun get a chance to explain myself. whats the use anyway when she always has to get things her way.

>:(

worth it now

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 11:52:26 GMT

there will be many that catch your eyes,

but only one that catches ur heart.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:02:47 GMT

Put on my pj’s and hop into bed
I’m half alive but I feel mostly dead
I, I try and tell myself it’ll be all right
I just shouldn’t think anymore tonight ’cause

Dreams last so long, even after you’re gone
I know, that you love me and soon you will see
You were meant for me and I was meant for you
Yeah, you were meant for me and I was meant for you

power, love and self-control

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:06:55 GMT

How to Develop Self-Discipline

2008/10/15

God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NCV)

*** *** *** ***

God wants you to develop a self-discipline that pushes you to do things, even as others are giving up.

Over the years, I’ve observed six key expressions of self-discipline:

People with self-discipline master their moods. They live by their commitments, not their emotions. People who do the right thing even when they don’t feel like it accomplish most of what gets done in the world! “A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls” (Proverbs 25:28 LB).

People with self-discipline watch their words. They put their minds in gear before opening their mouths. “He who guards his lips guards his life” (Proverbs 13:3 NIV).

People with self-discipline restrain their reactions. How much can you take before you lose your cool? “If you are sensible, you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it” (Proverbs 19:11 GNT).

People with self-discipline stick to their schedule. If you don’t determine how you will spend your time you can be sure that others will decide for you! “Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility … Make the best use of your time” (Ephesians 5:15–16 PH).

People with self-discipline manage their money. They learn to live on less than what they make and they invest the difference. The value of a budget is that it tells your money where you want it to go rather than wondering where it went! “The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets” (Proverbs 21:20 LB).

People with self-discipline maintain their health. That way they can accomplish more and enjoy their achievements. “Every one of you should learn to control his body, keeping it pure and treating it with respect” (1 Thessalonians 4:4 PH).

The disciplines you establish today will determine your success tomorrow. But it takes more than just willpower for lasting self-discipline. It takes a power greater than yourself: “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT/NCV).

The more I accept God’s control over my life, the more self-control he gives me!

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:56:57 GMT

just yesterday, i was once again grappling with the issues of to drop netball or not. you see, i wanted to drop because i have a choice. its not smth forced onto me. i wanted to drop, because i want to try studying for once instead of playing netball. but then, i din wanna drop, becauase i love the game too much. because i know the people needs me, and i know i'll put my heart and soul into this game. every trng i go to makes me love it more.

so yesteday, i prayed and asked God to give me this clear msg on whether to drop netball. i ask him to let today's devotional appear and it'll speak to me. because these few daqys of devotionals were devoted to servant leadership, i knew it would be smth extraordinary for the focus to be changed. and it did.

i checked this morning but it was the same as last night. i thought: thats it, God just wants me to chose on my own. but i checked back again, and there was smth new. the title was:

How to Determine What Matters Most

There are three things that will endure – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT)

i was shocked really. but it talked abt love. but the first thought that came to mind was netball. so im coming to a conclusion that i should stay? you know, i feel like ive come to love the netballers even though we just met. and i cant bear to leave and let zy struggle to keep the team. yet my studies.. i really hope that God will then pull me thru that. because in time to come, its not that piece of paper that i took pass out as.. perhaps its the teambonding that ive forged over this season? i dun know.

"People need to understand that when you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind. All you’re taking with you is your character. That’s why the Bible says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6 NIV). "

what do u think?

by doing this.. i dun know. im putting my studies in Gods hands. i dun know how well i'll do for my future sems. :p is what im doing loving you Lord? im thinking that u've given me these talents.. i guess i'll use it? but i do wonder if im out of track. sigh.

durability = 2 years or less

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:18:39 GMT

i wanted to buy this tshirt really.
from forever 21.

but i cant.

means can wear only 2 years anyways. or less.
haha.

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 14:48:53 GMT

im back again.
with another stifling issue at hand. actually not another. just revisted only. :p

how how how. im now trying 4 times a 5-day week, 5 days a week. i think i can cope. i like it. but i know that eventually accumlated fatigue will affect me. im sleeping late waking almost early? yea. im doing my hmwk at 12am. :p and i know i can do much better if i had more time if not for much wanted sleep. i shock ppl by telling them im in 2 IVP teams. i shock myself even more by not thinking much abt it till now.

and so, trngs are midway. for netball, selections arent here yet. but i suppose i can almost confidently say i'll go through. yet i know my commitments are in climbing. and i dont wanna disappoint the seniors and all. because i have this oppurtunity to climb now, i know i should. but if netball comes and tell me they need me (assuming i'll leave netball after awhile, i will because as long as someone asks, i'll commit. but right now not yet lah..) you see, for netball, i know ive got it already. the trng isnt as intensive to me as climbing is, starting new and all.. so my mental strength is still there in trng. but physically?? im glad im not like KR-ers who seem to be in zombie mood this sem due to overload of activities. im proud to say i only joined 1 commitee and not 3 like others. in some ways, my life in universirt revolves around IHG to come, climbing, netball, sleeping, studying, waking up late to walk to sch in 5 mins.

and so.. i dun know if im right to just stay in netball, train with them? then 1) drop out after awhile once trng intensifies, or 2) just carry on anyways.. coz by me dropping out halfway, i know im hindering early plans that the coaches make in planning court plays and stuff. so how now brown cow?

i dun want to hinder my studies.. im not sure if its being hindered right now, but of the 5 mods, i completed my lit essay, love my geog proj, digging for singapoerstudies, while chem is just.. unread and pysche is a temporary mystery. so.... in my pt of view.. it seems alright so far. :p haha. i dun know if its the correct timeline for normal uni studies. haha.

clarity

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:55:28 GMT

Most of our time is spent apart,
most of the year we're far.
Intense is the word that comes to mind,
whenever we're back together.
When I saw you from across the yard,
one look and you took my heart.
It's content being in it's place,
and it feels it's teathered.

And I don't know how you feel about that.
If you're sad if you're mad if you're glad.
But I do know the feeling of waiting and waiting and falling so slowly,
breaking your heart is like breaking a glass,
I get cut by the shards,
I get cut by the past so...

Please....
I don't know I don't know I don't know
but it's killing me.
Please.....
I don't know I don't know I don't know,
but it's killing me.

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:19:00 GMT

only you can make me feel better. but in ways you wont want to.

hearts desire?

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:37:32 GMT

i just received the fixtures for the netball ivp. sigh. i so feel like playing. i mean, i could right? but then its just that i dont go for trg on sats.. so i guess i'll miss out quite alot. so i doubt i'll be first line player.. but still! sigh. i dont know what to do. im like in climbing already. but i want to attempt to juggle these two. can i? or should i jsut play and enjoy ivp for the 2 weeks and then continue to train under climbing? hm?

how did raello chose not to swim? after swimming for so many years, (lets not talk abt how boring our sports can become after many years..), and not join swimming? hahaha. plus knowing ur good at that sport makes it even harder to let go.. coz you know you'll definately acheive smth in joining. :p

independence

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 17:03:31 GMT

sigh. this has been on my mind for long long long. and tomorrow, or rather, TODAY is the very last day to decide on my hostel stay.

everyone knows me.. they all say i confirm stay in hostel. i say that to myself too. :p so its no surprise that i got what i wanted almost with 100% accuracy. but then, theres like the big NO coming out of my parents mouth. :( yep. the big RESTRICTION word too. and so, i am very and disappointed as well. :p

you see, i can stay out late at night to anytime i want. i have no curfews and i can go out anytime i want. i dun have to call back after training, or get permission to go on camps. i can practically do anything i want really. EXCEPT, stay in the hostel. :( yep. very sad when i heard the news. coz like.. suddenly someone is like stopping me from doing what i wanna do. feels weird really.

and i dont see why i cant stay other than financial burdens. yes, i WILL be heavily involved and all.. daddy says he'ld rather i stay in yr 2 or 3 when im more busy.. but then, it'll be more expensive!! sheesh. but then again, if i can almost travel to cck everyday to watch track nationals, how come i cannot go to nus like that everyday too? i'll just have to tolerate tough crowds and pray i'll never sprain my ankle again so i wont have a hard time standing on the train right? but then again, most of the sports ppl i met in camp are staying hall. either that or they stay super near and its like.. better to meet up and all.. then if i stay at home, i'll be outcast and stuff. :( no supper outings either.

and then again, i'll most prob be in single room, which is a total of like $3900 for a year. :p i COULD work at tagger or someplace or give tuition to cover the cost and all.. but the payment is to be done within a week of sch starting. :(

so what now Lord? i asked you to give this to me knowing that i'll get surely only if you wanted me to. coz i know that if i dont get it, it'll be you telling me this is not for me. but now, the situation has turned and things are more complicated as before. so what is this exactly? i got it yet there is like rejection and stuff? things dont come easy i know.. but.. i dont know how to go about this man... :(

dear lord, you know my heart, even in its confused state, im sure you know whats best for me. free choice i know.. but which choice to make i dont know. :p help me know, i need the answer asap please.

check 1,2,3

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:13:01 GMT

woke up tired and sianified this morning... :p
but had to get out of the hse early coz daddy needed to fetch trina to school.
you see, trina is like, the most fortunate since shes the youngest.
HAHAHA.
we all argue that she got a hp now, when shes p5 when we all got it like. p6 or above. >:(
and she always has to be sent to sch, but we have to give way to each other. :p
so i have to take bus to sch and jeff has to take mrt to sch. haha.
then she doesnt have to buy dinner back for us when mummy doesnt feel like cooking.
(in which mummy always nags and says coz jeffrey can ride a bike there and judith leg painful. so dont ask trina to go. haha.)

ok, back to today.
so after sending trina off to sch, me and daddy went to have breakfast arnd bukit merah.
of course since i couldnt eat, i just sat there and watched him eat kaya toasts and drink teh-c. :(
awwww..
i was so hungry.
but all i could do was drink water.
HAHAHAHA.

anyways, reached cmpb early.
saw marcus, the bball senior whose gg airforce too.
means he gg aust for air grading soon.
but i din see wx. :p

it was pretty weird doing all the checkup coz got soon-to-be enlistees there.
and all were guys, and i was the only girl. :p
PLUS, i was hungry and just sat there alone, hoping no one heard my growling.
hahaha.
urine test was like, damn weird lah.
and i had to have my blood tested coz daddy has hepatits. :(
and i never donated blood my whole life or had blood purposefully drawn out of me.
haha.
so i realise i have small veins. :p
in the end, the dude drew 3 big bottles and 2 small bottles of blood. :(
had to draw extra blood for more testing.
BLEH.

overall, medical checkup was ok.
i dont exactly want t go back there for another checkup coz its just plain weird.
the lady said i so far passed everything, except had to wait for blood test to confirm if im a hep b carrier. :(
sian...
well, if it God's will, i wun be a carrier, if not.. wasted. :p
but i cant wait to take the ippt and own the guys there. muahahahah.
and i hope i wun have to checkup again after my 4 years in uni either. :p
anyways, im 163cm!! woohoo. eligible height!
although i think my fats take up 16.5% of my body. :p

well, im glad its over! =)

=)

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:33:08 GMT

wx got posted to AFRC. FEP trainee.
first heard that his buddy got into that.. i was like: whoa.. so cool. so i prayed and ask God to let wx go in too. coz it'll be cool and like my total dream. so if he gets it, it'll be like living my dream too yea. but then, it'll be even cooler if i get in too. :p then like.. we're both in airforce and like.. blah blah blah. haha. so i just let my imagination run wild. :p

so he starts next week, (tmr) at cmpb, no stayover (YES!!) 8-5pm for 3 months!!
haha. and tmr, im gg to CMPB for my med checkup.
whoa. awkward weirdness if we see each other!

so, if wx becomes a pilot, and me becomes wso flighter?
will we not be either:
1) in the same plane? or
2) i'll be shooting him down?
3) either way, daryl will be shooting us down. HAHA. which equals deepshit coz i know daryl has a cause to shoot me down. :(

if all fails,
wx goes ocs, and i just become a normal girl citizen. :(
oh.. what a boring life we'll lead. :p

-----------------------------------------------------------------

i just checked my nus sports camp groupings.
when i saw the first page with CHINESE group names, i almost fainted.
haha.
luckily im not in those groups.
but then again, im back to 0506 senerio, whereby guys >> girls. :p
i hope the girls in my team and funstuffpeeps.